A cheating website has revealed where most of their Irish users come from, listing the top 10 counties. Victoria Milan is a site dedicated to people who want to have an affair and it claims to have 75, Irish people ed up to the service. According to The Irish Mirrorthe information they have released shows that the top county in Ireland for cheating is Dublin. Second on the list is Cork, with 5.
People are alternately fascinated, repulsed, and astonished by the idea.
The women I interviewed consistently spoke of the importance and value of sex in their lives. This was especially true for women whose marriages were sexless or orgasmless. Women often endured these sexual deserts for years before finally acting. None of these women rushed into posting a profile seeking an affair thoughtlessly or impulsively. Rather, they had already invested much time and effort into trying to repair the sexual state of their marriages, to no avail.
For them, partnered sex is necessary for their needs to be met. The sex they had in their affairs was specifically focused on their pleasure. With their affair partners, the sex was about their pleasure and sexual desires. For these women, the release they experienced through sex with an affair partner saved their marriages.
Clever. really clever.
Prior to participating in an affair, they doubted their own ability to stay in the marriage. The thought of dissolving their marriages evoked sadness and despair. But the sexual relief of their affairs made them feel capable of continuing to stay in those marriages — something they very much desired. With their sexual needs met, at least periodically, they found themselves better able to endure the daily frustrations of a shared life.
They could overlook an unequal division of household labor, irritating habits, and even inattentiveness, in part because they kept such a large, stigmatized secret from their spouse. It makes sense: When we have less stress in our lives, we can afford to be more charitable toward other people. Going years without sexual release can certainly be a source of stress.
We may want to believe that that stress only applies to men, but the women I talked to certainly challenge that idea. For the women I spoke to, their affairs were carefully constructed to boost and reinforce their marriages, rather than to take from them.
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They made sure that their affairs were an outlet of release, and not the focus of their lives. Their affairs were a place where they focused solely on themselves and their pleasure and desires.
But it was a place they only visited. They were careful not to take up residence, physically or emotionally. In these very specific circumstances, affairs improved marriages.
Women were able to extend more kindness, generosityand forgiveness to their husbands, because the sexual pleasure gained in their affairs released the tension, resentment, and frustration they had coped with for years in sexless and sexually unsatisfying unions. Am I suggesting all wives should have affairs?
Not at all. But for the women I spoke with, affairs had saved their marriages.
The sex they were enjoying in their affairs revived their ability to continue on in their marriages, preserving their families. They allowed them to once again see the joy and merit in those marriages, while ly they had been unable to see past their sexual deprivation. In these specific conditions, affairs helped keep marriages together. Wednesday MartinPh. The pursuit of calm can itself become a major stressor, especially if you've already tried the standard prescriptions. But there is a path through this conundrum.
Wednesday Martin Ph. Guest post by Alicia Walker, Ph. About the Author. Online: websiteTwitter.
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These women cheat to keep their marriages strong.
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